Day Four

Today is Day four of my 'read/study the scriptures every day for one whole year without missing a single day.' Whew. That was a mouthful! I am really excited. After my whole 'wah wah wah' session--Well, sessions...both one and two...I decided to put my energy into something a little more positive. So this is it! Well, it's not the ONLY thing I'm doing, but you know what I mean.
I'm really excited!

not MY favorite word

thought I have been known to say it in a weak moment...or two...

It WAS my first word, according to family legend. Though, I cannot be blamed for my potty mouth when I was just in diapers. That I blame entirely on my mom. (my sisters were too young to have taught it to me--and besides, it IS my mom's favorite word.) She uses it a lot. Well, my mom's no sailor or anything, but she does throw it out there pretty regularly. And usually when you don't expect it. Like when the missionaries show up unexpectedly for dinner. And she doesn't call anything that word. She just uses it as an expletive. "oh s@*&!" But she does it with such blase. It kind of cracks me up, the apathy with which she says it. Though I hope I never start doing that...of course I do say 'crap' a lot.
Hmm. Similar meanings, different words...maybe I have a little problem, myself!

I'm over it

The good thing about me is that I can usually bounce back pretty quickly. I may have a real dark day or two, but then I usually grow up or decide that it's pointless to feel so down. Maybe it's because Mom always used to sing (however off-key) 'you've got to pick yourself up/dust yourself off/ and start right over again' so many times while I was growing up, that it kind of got stuck in that thick thing I call a noggin.
So my house is small.
So it never is clean.
So I don't have enough places to put most of what we have.
So I have no hope of moving any time soon since there is no chance in you-know-where that we'll find a better job and be moving within the next year or more.
So I bought the house thinking we'd live here for just a few years before moving on.
So I had children thinking the above statement was true.
So I maybe resigning myself to living here for twice as long as I had imagined.
Oh, shoot. I said I'm over it, didn't I.
Well, I guess not TOTALLY over it. But enough that I have stopped crying and throwing a huge hissy fit over it. Like I said. Grow up.
So, right now, maybe I'm not a 3 year old like yesterday. Maybe just 13. Hopefully tomorrow I can make it into the 20s.
But really, I mean c'mon. (at the risk of sounding like my 13 year old self) It just isn't fair!!!

And I know you know someone like that. Who just seems to stumble into fortunate circumstances left and right. Sometimes they aren't even very nice people. At least my friend...well, to be truthful that family deserve all the goodness they can get.
I just need to figure out what they are doing right and I'm doing so wrong.

OK, so I'm not fun

because today i just feel like complaining. and noone thinks a complainer is fun. when was the last time anyone invited wendy whiner out for a girl's night, am I right? but i'm taking over ol' wendy's role today.
i know we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to others. i get that. right now i am just having a hard time with it. i mean, what is it that i am doing so wrong? how is it that despite trying to find better work for buck (for several YEARS, now, mind you), there is still nothing? how is it that i have a friend--a good friend, the best--who just falls feet first every single time in an even better situation than the one just 'fallen' from? it's gotten to the point that when that friend is upset over a situation, i just sit back and wait for the windfall to hit them. I don't even worry anymore like i used to. don't get me wrong, i still pray for them, but i know there's no real point to it...He's got them covered.
now, i know that i am blessed with several things. i have a family, i have a home, i have a good husband who loves me and his kids, who has a job that provides for us. we are healthy. but frankly, i just can't stand that i'm living in such a small piece-of-crap hole that i'm trying to make into a home.
i'm also tired of being the one that people look at when they are discontent with their own homes and lives and think "well, at least I don't have to live like that". and if you think that people don't think that, well, let's just say that it isn't the first or second time that I've heard it about my place.
and before you send me a link to the Robert D. Hales talk from GC, I already am listening to it. So shut up.

Now I can die in peace.

Last night I touched a pink cadillac. I know, I know. Try to keep your jealousy to a minimum.

Last night I went to my friend's Mary Kay party. She's a brand new consultant, but had the party at her director's house(the one with the pink cadillac). I totally thought I was safe from the whole shpiel about joining or buying since I used to sell MK in college. I was pretty sure that there was a "only once" rule or something. Turns out there's not! So I got that little pep talk last night. I will say that I really enjoyed the microdermabrasion set. My skin did feel smoother, and I really liked the 'night' moisturizer. I felt super-moisturized and I'm always struggling with that. Anyway.

Here's my problem with going to any home sales party: I'm excitable. Easily excitable. And I oooh and aaah over everything. (I tried to play it down yesterday, and my friend thought I was unhappy, because I wasn't my usual oohy aahy self.) So anytime I go to a 'party' I get the whole "but you liked it so much. you'd be so good at this, you're so excited about the product." I never have the heart to say "I'm easily impressed and I do this everywhere I go. Don't get all excited."

I wonder how other people deal with it, because I never hear other people being harrassed--maybe that is too strong a word--by consultants to join their ranks.

Not to say that I felt all that pressured last night. I will say that was the least pressure I've felt, so that was nice, but then again, it may have been due to my calm demeanor last night...which frankly bored even me.

My First Grease Fire...or, Doesn't It Just Warm Your Heart

So about 2 weeks ago (give or take) I decided to cook something. I don't even remember what it was. Something mexican. I started out by heating up a pan of oil, like I have many times before. I stepped into the living room because Baby J needed me, and while I was in there I thought, 'hmm, that smells funny', and resolved to check it in a moment. Then I put J down, and walked into the kitchen. As I walked to the stove there came a bunch of smoke suddenly, then poof! The pan caught fire. I stood there for a second or two while I thought through my options. I knew not to put water on a grease fire. Was it baking soda or baking powder or cornstarch that one is supposed to use? Then I thought, 'why bother with those? what am I thinking?' and grabbed the fire extinguisher and used one for the very first time. It was actually pretty cool. I didn't know how far that powder flies. It covered most of that side of the room, though I only sprayed the pan. Well, then the smell was awful, and E and baby J were both coughing and I thought, 'yeah, I'd better get out of here' and so I got the pan outside, opened a few windows, and left. I called Buck as I was leaving and told him what happend. And this is just proof that I married a man who is too good to me. He praises me for my quick thinking. Then continues to praise me every time someone mentions a fire or quick thinkging-ness...which has been quite often, for some reason. If the roles were reversed, I think we all know I'd be saying some pointed remarks about how useful that information is, etc. Instead of praising him. Gosh, I'm rotten, aren't I. Well, at least I recognize it. That's supposed to be the first step, isn't it?

Who doesn't love...

Laverne and Shirley? Or didn't love, I guess, since I don't think they're on TV anymore. I remember an episode (man, I was, like, 10) wherein Laverne...or Shirley...said that: Who says I'm not fun? I'm fun. Aren't I fun? Tell them I'm fun!
Anyway. I thought it was funny and still do, apparently.