OK, so I'm not fun

because today i just feel like complaining. and noone thinks a complainer is fun. when was the last time anyone invited wendy whiner out for a girl's night, am I right? but i'm taking over ol' wendy's role today.
i know we aren't supposed to compare ourselves to others. i get that. right now i am just having a hard time with it. i mean, what is it that i am doing so wrong? how is it that despite trying to find better work for buck (for several YEARS, now, mind you), there is still nothing? how is it that i have a friend--a good friend, the best--who just falls feet first every single time in an even better situation than the one just 'fallen' from? it's gotten to the point that when that friend is upset over a situation, i just sit back and wait for the windfall to hit them. I don't even worry anymore like i used to. don't get me wrong, i still pray for them, but i know there's no real point to it...He's got them covered.
now, i know that i am blessed with several things. i have a family, i have a home, i have a good husband who loves me and his kids, who has a job that provides for us. we are healthy. but frankly, i just can't stand that i'm living in such a small piece-of-crap hole that i'm trying to make into a home.
i'm also tired of being the one that people look at when they are discontent with their own homes and lives and think "well, at least I don't have to live like that". and if you think that people don't think that, well, let's just say that it isn't the first or second time that I've heard it about my place.
and before you send me a link to the Robert D. Hales talk from GC, I already am listening to it. So shut up.